A Change Up

What’s my story?

I’m changing it.

I’ve decided to take a different path in my blog. Over the past year it was mostly about how I experienced the Dutch culture which I seemed to do an entertaining job at  expressing my experiences through writing. The funny thing was that my first intention of this blog was to share my thoughts and experiences of my life going through a year at Knowmads. That turned out to be tougher than I thought and I found writing about Dutch culture much easier.

Technically writing about bikes, dutch accents, and bunny shaped cheese is all part of the Knowmadic experience. I wouldn’t have been able to talk about it if I hadn’t decided to become a Knowmad. So to be fair, I didn’t veer off my intention that much.

Now that my Knowmads year is over I finally want to get down and vulnerable. To really share my story.

For now on I’m challenging myself to tell my real story. To tell the honest truth of what is happening in my life. My fear is that you will find it boring. That when I start talking about life and deeper things, my entertainment factor drops considerably. You’ll think, “she can’t write. goodbye.” My jackal will start saying, “this stuff doesn’t make any sense. Backspace, backspace, backspace.” And who actually gives a hoot and haney about my life?

What I think I’m most afraid of is the shame. The vulnerability I’m challenging myself to express and share. That the people who read this blog actually know me! I’ll see them and I’ll have to look them in the eye. Ahhhhh! That’s scary.

But I shall go forth and share my story. I will be courageous and share because there’s a part of me that knows that what’s happening with me resonates in others and that brings me comfort. Criticism and judgement will always be there but I can’t control that. As the book of Brene Brown declares, I will Dare Greatly.

*I have no idea what direction this blog will head. My only intention is to be start being honest. We’ll see what comes of it.

Preparing for 2013 part 1

 

I’ve decided to go back to creating habits for myself. Knowing that habits will make or break me, last night I wrote down the habits I want to create in my life. Turns out all of them have to do with health and fitness.

Is this a sign?

Oh, wait. There was one habit I did write down that had nothing to do with that category and that was writing! To write a minimum 2 crappy pages a day. Setting the bar low so I can feel good about myself. Stepping stones. Stepping stones.

I planned out my next 6 months of habits. Only one habit a month. Trying to do too many habits at once will make me end up with zero habits in the end. Again, another learning by failing.

I was thinking what habits do I want to have when I’m back home to the states in March. Biking in Amsterdam is already a healthy habit I picked up rather quickly when I moved here so how could I translate that when I head home? From my inspiration on the Nature Quest, I decided that I could take a walk every day no matter where I end up living. Some places back home are more dangerous than others but there’s usually always a side of the road to walk on.

So my first habit I will cultivate is walking for a 1/2 hour everyday. This I will do every day in December and we’ll see what happens from there. The intention is for me to keep this habit going through all the other months so that I continually bring on habits into my every day life. Again, we’ll see how this turns out. Practice, practice, practice.

As for the rest of the months, here they are. These could change and I may even start to do some of them every once in a while to get in the groove but once their month comes around I’m committed.

January: 20 push ups a day

February: Write a minimum 2 crappy pages a day

March: Meditate for 5 mins morning and night

April: 1 hour of me time a day (not sure how this one will go because it’s so vague)

May: Run 1 mile everyday

June: Turn off the internet at 9pm every night

These could all very well change but it’s always good to start with a plan and then change course along the way.