Right now I feel like I’m in college again sitting in front of my computer the night before a paper is due trying to figure out what I’m supposed to write for a class paper. I’m tense in my face, especially my forehead. Frustration is gripping my body. I have all these thoughts going through my head about what I want to say yet I have no idea where to start or how to put it in words for it to make sense. I’m at a point where I want to cry. Cry because I have something to say but I have no idea how to communicate it. Does this ever happen to you?
The thoughts in my head are running around like a 5 yr old boy who woke up early to eat the rest of his birthday cake. The thoughts won’t stop and I have no idea how to control them or even understand them but my need to figure it out is so strong that I’m troubled as to how I can figure out how to solve this problem.
My mind goes to Knowmads. The constant question “What is it that I want to learn?” Why the heck is this so hard for me to answer? Why can’t I pinpoint exactly what it is? Do I need choices and then I can get inspired from them? Why can I never figure out on my own what it is? I know deep down inside that I truly do know. I can feel the feelings. But I can’t put those feelings into words. I can see glimpses of thoughts. But they’re there for a split second and then disappear. Both the feelings and thoughts come back but they come back slightly different then before. Again, I remind myself how frustrated I am that I don’t know what it is I want to learn.
Figuring out what I want to learn at Knowmads is extremely important to me because I believe going in with an intention to something helps bring it into reality. Not having a clear intention makes me feel like I’m missing out on a huge opportunity to get what I want out of my year at Knowmads. Not knowing is killing me. How do I figure this out?
The 2nd question that keeps flashing through my brain is “What is it that I’m learning at Knowmads?” I’ve been doing a better job at this but it’s never in the way that I think does it justice. The story isn’t good enough. I know it can be better (now I’m sounding like a perfectionist). Plus, is what I’m learning at Knowmads really what I want to learn? Can I do this in other settings? Can I do this in other places where I will get more professional/expert teaching? Is that fair to say?
There have been a few things I can honestly say I have enjoyed at Knowmads and I believe if we have more of these types of workshops I’d really come out in 1 year with a combination of knowledge I couldn’t get anywhere else.
- The business canvas model (though the pace of this workshop was extremely too fast that I didn’t learn as much as I could’ve)
- The crowd funding workshop
- Nonviolent Communication: every person needs to take NVC to become aware of how they communicate on a personal and business level
- Deep Democracy: An interesting tool in order to make group decisions. Though I feel like our 2 day workshop only scratched the surface of DD
- Model Minds Visual Harvesting Workshop